The last thing someone struggling with low mood needs to hear is that they are failing at something apparently so basic as simply feeling good! But is it really so simple?
A short answer – no, it is not. Mood and emotions are the result of many factors coming together like a complex calculation that our bodies do to let us know what is happening on a feeling level and it is oversimplifying to state they can be changed as easily as choosing to look away from something sad.
While it is true that we can take actions to change our mood, it is not the same as having direct control over it like I can control my fingers to type this, for example.
We don’t have direct control over our emotions. But we can influence them.
If we had the option to feel happy all the time, we might choose that; yet negative emotions also add depth and meaning.
Trying to control, suppress or deny negative emotions also comes at a cost – because these could contain important information about what we need to change in our lives. Next time you feel low, pause, and listen to what this message could be – is it about a boundary you need to enforce? Or that you are missing something in your life?
Sometimes these emotional messages can be inaccurate, if for example everything is well in your life, and you still feel something is dreadfully wrong or if you are in a healthy relationship but keep seeing red flags. This can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The reason for this inaccurate perception is usually a combination of biological and psychological causes.
A psychological cause would be unprocessed trauma such as betrayal that has become the lens through which you see the world. A biological cause can be substance withdrawals, endogenous depression, PMDD, concussion, etc.
The take-away is this: don’t rush to fix your unpleasant feelings and don’t discount either medication or counselling as unimportant to your mental health.
Dia-Logos Counselling 